Many act in ways Jesus would not

I am a Christian. I love Jesus and live for Jesus. I would die for Jesus because He’s changed my life. I want to be like Jesus to show God’s incredible love to everyone I meet because I think everyone is created to know God and be loved by Him but…

I judge my peers and choose not to associate with certain groups because it could hurt me or my image. I talk about people behind their backs because I’m too lame to say it to their faces. I spend my money on myself to make me feel better when I already have more than enough. I engage people in conversation and walk away already forgetting what we talked about. I become easily frustrated when the smallest thing doesn’t go my way; I’m also exceptionally jealous.

I use my words to make myself feel better, rather than using them to make other people feel better. I become so wrapped up with the way I look I forget to think about the way I act. I spend my time selfishly rather than using it to show someone they are valuable. I make plans with people and blow them off. I let myself off the hook from helping people less fortunate by telling myself it’s the thought that counts. When good things happen to me I convince myself that I deserved it or that someone owed it to me. I flaunt my supposed morally superior actions. I compliment people to make myself look better.

I say, “I’ll pray for you” to sound spiritual and forget why I’m praying, a lot of times I don’t pray at all. I call people out for doing the same things I do. I lie. I wish failure for others if it will make me look better. I make exceptions for myself that I won’t make for others. I use God as a crutch, going to Him only when I need something. I justify my wrong actions based on my circumstances. I take credit for things when I’ve done nothing to earn it.

I read spiritual books as a substitute for practicing what I believe. I sleep during church services. I swear in front of kids. I tell people what to do in God’s authority and do the opposite. I go for an entire day without giving Jesus one thought. I convince myself that tomorrow I’ll be better. I’m completely content with people not knowing I am a Christian. I take God’s grace for granted.

I don’t know what it’s like to be hungry. I don’t know what it’s like to be homeless. I don’t know what it’s like to not have a family. I don’t know what it’s like to be persecuted for what I believe.

This is who I’ve been. This is who I am. I’m sorry.