As my senior year has begun and I have gotten into the swing of things or grasping the reality that this is my last year at the university, I have come to conclude: I am not ready to leave just yet.

For the last almost month we have been in school, I have been asked the famous questions of “what is your plan after graduation?” or “what do you want to do with your major?”

When I hear those words come out of someone’s mouth, I instantly feel my stomach tighten, my hands start to sweat and my words begin to be lost in the lump forming in the back of my throat. I just want to yell, “I have no clue of what I want to do,” but like most of us, I don’t, and I come up with some answer to give the individual something rather than a blank stare.

It’s not like I have not thought about my future or what will be my next initial step into my life, I just don’t know. I have so many interests and endless options of what could interest me for the next 50 years of my life. I guess I just hate settling.

Yes, I know that you don’t have to actually settle. You can do anything you want, but I just feel the pressure of going further and taking all the right steps to advance my future. I feel like I have to have a plan and I can’t just hope for the best. I might actually have to come up with how my life will pan out.

To me, it’s scary. It is scary to think that I have to grow up and become something more than I already am. That I can’t live by the edge of my seat like most college students do; that I will have to go out of my element to create a career for myself.

This is the next step of my life. I am excited because I can make it how I want, but on the flip side, I am scared because I don’t have a plan and don’t want to step with the wrong foot into my next step of life.