3/07/08
Hey there, and welcome to part two of the politics break.
In the first half, I discussed my newfound no-meat diet (you know, minus the whole still eating fish and fowl), and in this section I’m going to discuss something totally unrelated in any way, shape or form.
I’m fairly certain that my political addiction has been the single greatest cause of my hair loss and fatigue (genetics and high blood pressure have nothing to do with it, I’m sure), which is why I have decided to take a path toward happiness and fulfillment, which is why I’m here to give you my top five web videos to watch when you just can’t take the monotony anymore.
Hilarious web videos have been a place of pleasure and relief for many. In fact, I have been watching them since yesteryear.
I know the stress and anxiety of homework leads many youth to indulge in at least an hour of Facebook (henceforth referred to as ‘The Book’) before starting their work – creeping around on their friends and the people who are in their classes that they don’t really know. However, because of The Book, they know as many intimate details of that person’s life as their best friend does. It is truly creepy, which is why you should all feel ashamed and watch these videos.
5. “My New Haircut” – This video is hilarious. It combines both my hatred of Jersey South Shore Guidos and Gym Rats. You can find it on YouTube.com by just typing in the title. So, sit back, relax and jager bombs, jager bombs, jager bombs, “I shower in that shit!”
4. “Super High Me” – I stumbled onto this video by complete accident while looking for Mitch Hedberg videos and fell in love with it immediately.
It is found on theclawproductions.com, which has some other choice videos that we will discuss later. The basic premise is taking “Super Size Me,” subtracting McDonald’s and adding pot. Wash, rinse, repeat.
3. “Yeah” (Acoustic) – This kid takes a Keller Williams-style approach to the infamous (and annoying) song “Yeah” by Usher. It appears that he is at some sort of talent show at a residence hall or some other event that was sure to be lame until this young prodigy took the stage and lit it up like a candle.
Just go to YouTube and type in the title. I think it has been long enough that the song isn’t as annoying as it had become, and at least you don’t have to listen to any Lil Jon.
2. “Ricky Gervais Live 3 Fame” – I know the title looks ridiculous, and the fact that watching this video on YouTube is slightly wrong considering it’s the entire standup movie in 10 minute segments, but still, do it. Ricky Gervais is the man who created “The Office,” and has gone on to other amazing projects like “Extras,” but it is his standup comedy that is amazing.
What you need to do is go onto YouTube and type in Ricky Gervais Fame, and all of the parts just pop up. If you have an hour to kill you have to watch this. And if you enjoy it then you can watch his other two standup shows, “Animals” and “Politics” (you just look them up in the same way as you did Fame).
1. Zach Galifianakis in the video for Kanye West’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothin'” – We’re back to theclawproductions.com for the No. 1 web video. I can’t really describe how funny this is, seriously. If you are familiar with Zach Galifianakis’ prior work (“The Comedians of Comedy,” “Dog Bites Man,” “Tru Calling,” “Late World with Zach,” “Out Cold,” “Live at the Purple Onion,” etc.) then you are in for a damn treat. If you couldn’t tell, I am a huge fan of everyone at theclawproductions.com and an even bigger fan of Zach Galifianakis.
He is probably the funniest American comedian for his generation. If you enjoy this video, there are two others like it, one for a Fiona Apple song, and another for an Anita Baker song. The man truly is a genius.
Well, that pretty much wraps up the countdown. I hope I have provided you something substantially better to do while avoiding your homework, and maybe I have kept you from The Book for at least five to 10 minutes.
Believe me, you need it. It’s been a fun two columns without politics. However, I feel that I must return to my roots in two weeks to discuss the presidential race, and my hatred for those with opinions other than mine.
Have a good spring break, and remember to be safe while frolicking on the beach (I’ll be here in Baldwin, so kick it for me a little).