I’ve only got about a year left here at Baker University, but I have yet to take a cooking class!

Sorry, that even hurt me. 

Actually, I’m trying to decide where my life should go after Baker U.

As far as sensible careers go, I’m only seeing a few that would suit me.

One of them is to become a counselor, specifically a relationship counselor. 

I’ve studied enough in communications to know that most relationship problems are just a matter of poor communication.

In fact, I think a friend of a friend told me that he read somewhere that a study or something was done saying most couples wish communication was better.

So that’s what I’m here to do for you readers: offer relationship advice. 

Now I realize I’m not the most qualified source, so I’m going to go to the source that is the officiating party when it comes to relationships: Facebook. 

C’mon now, it’s not really an “official relationship” until it’s Facebook-official. (These are verbatim by the way.)

“Never kill your roomates. it’s messy, bothersome, and a taad illegal.”  This is just good advice for anyone. 

Killing your roommates isn’t the best way to make the relationship between you two work.

“Just tell her … it’s gonna be okay.” Support is one of the most crucial aspects of a relationship, intimate or otherwise. Friends expect you to back them up and significant others often do too.

Therefore, optimism is a plus in that you can let them know things will work out and every box of good cereal has a secret decoder ring.

“Why don’t you try moving instead??” Sometimes, friendships or other relationships will become stagnant. The forward momentum will dwindle and things will all but stop progressing.

At that point, movement is needed.

Find some way to change the playing field or push the ball that is your relationship or find an equally inappropriate metaphor to use.

“We really are beautiful.”  Positive reassurance is one way to offer verbal support.

“I need you, i miss you, i love you.”  Showing that you care reciprocates whatever affection is directed your way. If you aren’t getting any of that affection, though, perhaps you should look elsewhere.

“My parents’ house is about 2 miles from the major fires.” The metaphor here is that sometimes it’s best to look to a model in order to gain direction for the relationship.

Obviously someone had the foresight not to build a house in the fire zone. Yet, fires can spread quickly, so two miles may not be enough. That just serves as a reminder that no models are perfect.

“I don’t think we’d all fit in the car.” Defining yourselves as individuals is a necessary part of a relationship.

However, the tricky part is balancing the individual against the unit.

Too far one way and you become single, too far the other and you become symbiotic.

“Whoot whoot whoot ahhhhhhhh.” Yeah…I’ve got nothing for this one.

Looking back, perhaps I tried too hard with this Facebook thing.

I realize that it’s absurdly popular, but it also has users who shouldn’t operate a computer.

Unfortunately, most of the advice today is taken from them. Therefore, take everything I put here with a GIANT grain of salt. 

Honestly, about the best advice I can give is to “keep on going with your birthday party.” 

Relationships are hard, so they take work. Saddle up, cowboy, it’s time to ride.

Whatever that means.