Ever since first grade, sports have been a part of my life. I grew up playing soccer, and for 12 years, I spent my weekends running around on a field. Throughout junior high I played volleyball and ended up grabbing a tennis racket for the first time. Little did I know, playing tennis would be the start of me losing something I always had growing up – a jersey number.

In high school I continued playing select soccer until sophomore year when I decided to focus strictly on tennis. From that day on I’ve never had a number on my back during a game. I went from being number 3 my whole life to all of a sudden having nothing, and for a long time I felt like I was constantly missing something.

To athletes, jersey numbers are a part of their identity. You pick a number and it sticks. If someone comes along and takes your number, you’re defensive. If you’re given a new number, it takes adjusting.

I’m not sure there’s a way to explain it, but I think (or at least hope) any athletes that have ever been in these positions can relate to the pride, comfort and importance that come with your specific number.

Eventually I accepted the fact that playing an individual sport, I wouldn’t have the chance to wear a jersey number again. But I compensate for my loss by silently cheering on anyone who’s number 3. They’re the first person I look for on the field, and any time they play, well, I feel like they’re representing the number in the way it deserves to be.

It’s more than just a number to me. It’s special. I played thousands of games sporting number 3, I made too many memories to count, and most importantly, I shared the number with my younger sister. It’s my lucky number, mine and my sister’s birth date, and the number of siblings in my family.

Losing something that was important to me took some adjusting. I’ve learned to pay attention when people call me by my first name, not by my last name or my number.

I’ve learned that even though I don’t necessarily play a team sport anymore, I still have teammates.

And most importantly, I’ve learned that sometimes you have to lose one thing in order to gain another.

So, for all the athletes who have the opportunity to wear a number on their back, wear it proud, because you never know who could be wishing they were in your shoes right now.