05/2/08
Taking a shower. Setting an alarm. Fluffing a pillow. Saying a prayer. Counting sheep. Everyone has some kind of nightly ritual.
For Baker University junior Carissa Nichols, her nightly ritual is much more serious. If she forgets to take her Celexa prescription, she’ll be able to feel the difference.
Tough Topics part 1: Body beliefs<a href="http://media.www.thebakerorange.com/media/storage/paper1028/news/2008/04/25/Features/Body-Beliefs-3348917.shtml">Tough Topics part 1: Body beliefs</a> Tough Topics part 1: Body beliefs
Nichols, who can trace depression, anxiety and alcoholism four generations back on her mother’s side, has suffered from depression since her sophomore year of high school.
“I started to have more aggressive and angry behavior,” she said. “It was nothing too extreme, I just knew something was different. My mom recognized the signs, and we went to the doctor. I was prescribed medicine my junior year of high school.”
According to the National College Health Assessment administered to Baker students in the spring of 2007 by the American College Health Association, 16.8 percent of students surveyed said they suffer from depression.
“The availability of alcohol and the college atmosphere doesn’t help me with what I have,” Nichols said. “It’s an escape in that moment from what you’re feeling. It feels good at the time you’re drinking and having a good time, but the next day is going to be even worse than the day you just had.”
Marcia Epstein, director of Headquarters Counseling Center in Lawrence, said people usually fall into categories of depression. “There is a difference between depressed people and people who feel sad for a while because of hard things in life,” she said. “Everyone has ups and downs – it doesn’t mean you’re depressed. If you feel sad unexplainably for a longer period of time, you might have a chemical imbalance, and it might be time to get some help.”
Epstein said sometimes depression could lead to suicidal thoughts.
“There was an instance in high school and a couple times at Baker when I kind of felt like it would be easier if I did something to myself,” Nichols said. “I’m grateful my friends stepped in. When I do have those behaviors, I call my mom or dad.”
Epstein said not all people who are diagnosed with depression have to take medication, and those who are on medication will sometimes be forced to change prescriptions.
“I had to change medicine a few months ago,” Nichols said. “I was only getting about four hours of sleep, my eating was off, I was testy and anxious about things. I went to the doctor, and we came to the conclusion I needed new medicine because I had grown immune to the medicine I’d been taking since my junior year. It was a hard two-week transition for me to make.”
Baker Counseling Center Director Kelly Bowers said she counsels depressed students with a variety of issues. Many students have problems transitioning to college, while other students struggle with balancing academics, relationships and family.
“Some students just have general identity issues – just trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be,” she said. “Depression is much more prevalent than it was 10 years ago.”
Nichols has struggled during her time at Baker.
“A lot of it is just adjusting to life on your own,” she said. “Sometimes school and family stuff piles on you, and you don’t know what to do. You just want to crawl in a corner and not do anything.”
With a campus of fewer than 1,000 students, some students may worry about others finding out about their depression.
“At a small campus like Baker, you can’t just disappear,” Epstein said. “Someone is going to see your problems, and hopefully they will take the next step to get you some help.”
Confidentiality is something Bowers said is very important to Baker’s counseling services.
“That’s why we have the side door to the center,” she said. “We want students to feel a little bit more safe.”
Senior James Bunker, who volunteers four hours a week at Headquarters Counseling Center, said sometimes students might prefer seeking help off campus to ensure confidentiality.
“I think a lot of students are afraid someone is going to see them walking to the counseling center and ask them later why they went,” he said.
Nichols said sometimes people who have depression can be misperceived by others.
“People with depression aren’t always sad,” she said. “I like to smile all the time and have a good time. Just because you have depression doesn’t mean you’re sad and depressed all the time. It’s a roller coaster of emotions with up-days and down-days. It’s not just a flat line.”
Despite the challenges she’s faced, Nichols won’t be letting her depression stand in the way of her goal to become a mental health counselor.
“This disorder has held me back a lot, but it has also given me a lot that I’ll be able to give back to other people,” she said. “I just want to help people that have the same thing as I do.”
Five years after being diagnosed with depression, Nichols won’t ever forget her nightly ritual.
“There’s a point where you feel so good that you act as a doctor yourself, which is the worse thing to do,” she said. “I’m guilty of it, and once you do it once you realize you can’t do that again. It really is hard coping with the fact that you have to take something like that just to cope with your life.”