This article was originally published prior to June 2, 2013. Due to a change in the content management systems, the initial publication date in not available. 

Let it be known that I have an extensive knowledge of foul language.

I’m not sure how my library of off-color idioms compares to that of others, but it’s probably impressive in any context.

Add to this an ability to speak loudly (also impressive – I know) and there’s a potential ruckus at hand.

However, I balance the scale with restraint where others may not.

That’s fine, but when it disrupts an otherwise calm atmosphere, the act, let alone the content, is not always welcome.

Case in point: dinner in the cafeteria.

Naturally, there’s an ever-present buzz of conversation due to the large amount of people in one place.

In the Allen Dining Hall, though, it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hear one insignificant conversation rise above the rest; it’s not even a once-every-week opportunity.

No, it’s a chance that those privileged enough to eat in the cafeteria are offered nearly every day.

The topics are rarely important. One gem that I had the pleasure of overhearing recently happened to be about my favorite basketball player, so naturally, it piqued my interest.

Even though I wasn’t being addressed and I was at least 20 feet away, it was a stroke of luck that one kind soul was literally yelling about Steve Nash’s accolades.

Filled with hope, I was immediately let down when I realized his name came up in the most unfortunate form of communication: an argument.

In the case that there are any sour feelings left over from that day, I would like to put forth my expertise on the subject in order to resolve this conflict.

Steven John Nash did, in fact, win back-to-back NBA MVP Awards in the 2004-05 and 2005-06 seasons. With this knowledge, and with time, I hope those two warriors of words can mend their rift.

In my opinion, that is the most regrettable twist to this story.

You, with the loud voices and the inability to cool your tempers in the midst of such dire arguments, you are hurting relationships of your own and of other people.

The next time you speak with such emotion in such booming tones, take a moment to look around.

There is absolutely no doubt in my modest mind that you will glimpse some poor freshman with a tear-streaked face sitting in a corner, or a young man saying, “I think we should start seeing other people,” to his love of seven years.

Use your spectacular abilities to nurture affection, not to foster anger.

Think of how many lives you would touch and how much happiness you could bring to our little community.

That, or shut the hell up unless you have something hilarious to say.