05/2/08

God (and my professors) willing, I’m graduating this month from Baker University.

I know. The lives of many of you all will be torn to shambles by my departure. I just wanted to say goodbye. Unfortunately, that means writing something that I promised myself I’d never write: the quintessentially dopey graduating senior column.

Once again, I’m caught in my own tangled web of lies. Oh, and if this seems a bit early for you, I’m trying to get this column out of the way now, so I can spend the next few weeks making sure I actually do graduate.

For some reason, an astounding number of these goodbye columns involve Dr. Seuss quotes. Am I the only one who has ever noticed that? What the hell do strange-looking animals know about quality undergraduate education? No, if I have to quote a fictional character in this column, make mine Baggins: “I know half of you half as well as I should like…” Well, maybe we should just stay away from quotes.

I have, on occasion, attended classes. These forays have helped me to pick up some interesting tidbits of information. I’ve especially enjoyed those classes within my respective major and minor: history and political science. Here are some of the basics.

First, any class that has the word “methods” at the end of it is going to make you cut out your own spleen. Second, contrary to popular belief, scholarly work should not include things you just make up.

Next, American history is basically just the story of those in power oppressing people in various ways. A good example is the South, which has recently started experimenting with democratic government.

Here’s something interesting from world history: the term “Late Antiquity” was only invented to give living professors the opportunity to re-interpret ideas that dead professors had already figured out hundreds of years ago.

In honesty, I like the classes I’ve taken over the last four years, and I feel they have greatly improved my perception of the world.

Hell, I’ve even learned some things from the LA classes. Plato be damned, we should have never left that cave. Also, I’ve got one last shameless plug for my department.

For you major-less folks in search of true learning here at Baker, I urge you to travel to Mabee Hall and seek out the bastion of knowledge and nerd-dom that is the social sciences department.

Life outside of class has been awesome as well. To my fraternity brothers, friends and fellow students: It’s been real, it’s been fun, and at least three of you still owe me a shot at the Mine (Hodges!). I hope you all have great success in the future.

To everybody on campus, let me one final time encourage you to get involved with organizations on campus – greek houses, sports teams, clubs, whatever – and meet as many people as you can.

College can be the greatest time of your life, but only if you get out there and experience it. Also, for those of you not aware of its wonders, the Mine just might be the best resource available to students in all of Baldwin City. PBR Pitcher Night is especially enlightening.

I like to think that my time at Baker University was well spent. Sure, those of you who might actually have read my columns know that I’ve had some complaints.

I still do.

However, when I think of my undergrad experience as a whole, I can’t help but be satisfied with what I’ve learned, who I’ve met, and how I’ve grown at Baker University. Here’s hoping that someday all of you can say the same. Good luck, and I’ll see you at Stag.